Night Terror (A Sign?)

I had like the weirdest dream last night. Well, more like a night terror.(guess I should explain how it happen before i talk about the dream)
Its was about this girl that I really liked back in high school that I use to hang woth a lot. We were never really in a “relationship” but we did had some feelings for each other, just never made it offical. And due to a situation I did, which I take full responsibility for, I messed up our whole “relationship”. It’s complicated to explain what we had but it could’ve spawn to something special if I didn’t fucked it up. Uhhh….anyway, although I messed up what we had, she was mad at me but she said she did lose some trust in me. That crushed me but I deserved it and we remained friends even after that incident. I would do anything to gain her trust back. I think I may have even fallen for her, so it would hurt(still do) when she would take about her boyfriend….but I never showed it. Eventually she went to college but we still keep in contact with one another.Fast foward to early this year (or late last year, give or take) i believe she and her boyfriend were on a break, so i took this as an opporunity of trying to get her back. After a basketball game at the high school, I walked her to her car in the cold hoping that this could be my chance. After chatting a bit we hugged goodbye. In her ear I asked could i get a kiss just like old times (remember when I said we had a complicated relationship that wasn’t a relationship, well it involved a lot of kissing and makingout) she was like “well techincally i don’t have a boyfriend anymore” and we kissed. No making out(even though i wanted it sooooo bad) we ended our night there. Man i missed kissing on her. That was the last time we saw ourselves in person but we alway kept contact, then we stopped awhile, now we just got back into it.
Present Day
We’ve been texting a lot lately because, well, i missed her. She apparently got back with her boyfriend(which sucks) but i have to deal with it. Shes been texting me a lot because she has questions about ‘Attack on Titan’(she justs now watching anime, something i told her she should’ve been doing) and its been lovely talking to her again.(This is when the night terror comes in)
So last night I dreamt that me and this girl we’re back in what i think is high school. I think she was about to break up with her boyfriend, which excited me, so i took this opporunity to get back with her. But then this guy(he looked like someone from One Direction or whatever boy band is hot right now) comes in and tries to take her from me. It one point he gets in trouble or something and is sent to the office. I see het waiting on him, I look her right in her eyes when he went inside and said” i don’t trust him”. She gives me this worry or sad look and that scared me. The dream then jumps to this room where the principal(i believe had enough of this one direction shit and was kicking him out. God I was so happen. But then the worse happen. The girl I love threw this laptop on the ground breaking it to pieces, with so much anger and tears on her face, saying ” YOU CAN’T, I LOVE HIM”. Shocked and almost lost for words I screamed”WHAT”. I rush to be face to face with her only I few inches away from her face and shouted, “BUT I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!!!!” She looked at me when tears streaming on her face, then turned around and ran out the room. In so much disbelief i was about to cry in my dreams, I picked up a desk, prepared to destroy the whole room until I woke up sweating, heart beating rapidly.
What does this mean, why did i had this dream? And although she’s not with this One Direction guy, she still has a boyfriend, she’s still not mine. So its like I never woken up, im still in this night terror. Why?

long reads love love story dream nightmare night terror a sign short story i still love her heartbreak heartbroken my life spilled thoughts spilled ink depression depressed

onlettinggo:

"And All At Once Summer Collapsed Into Fall" / #existentialism #writings #tigerlily #summerend #autumn

onlettinggo:

"And All At Once Summer Collapsed Into Fall" / #existentialism #writings #tigerlily #summerend #autumn